that's an acceptable place to lick
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We're too hungover to prance.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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