census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize