i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
