Your tits are I can't wait for
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
