I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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