just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
