If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
