Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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