"it" just moved
Your mouth is God's brothel.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
