Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
