I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
