I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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