you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
