she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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