Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
