now i know why i became what i already was.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
