are you still at the devil's house?
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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