Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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