How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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