I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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