If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
