I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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