Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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