THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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