The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
