wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
