we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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