Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
