Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
