Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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