hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
