I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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