She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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