idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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