hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
