i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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