with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
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He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
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THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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