Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
