New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
