Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
