i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I think my moral compass just broke
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
