i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize