3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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