No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
