I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I have feelings that need drinking.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
