dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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