3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
