Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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