She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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