My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
