There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
