my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I intend to get homeless drunk
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
my liver is dry heaving
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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