i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
