I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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