There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
