he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
