Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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