her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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