It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I wear drunk well.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
