I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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