it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
