He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
