So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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