Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
