Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
