Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
