drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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